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These women machine-gun questions at the poor guys until they’re just about dead. Sure, ask a few questions, but let him ask them too. In fact, you might get to know him better by keeping the conversation light and easy.

Rather than only asking questions that help you understand if this guy is long-term material (because trust me: even if he answers the way you want, you can in no way know that you’re compatible like that on a first date), throw in some zany questions to warm him up: I understand that you might be nervous on a first date, and so might have trouble loosening up and being yourself.

My first date advice is to research within set parameters that you obviously have access to.

If you met on a dating app, feel free to review what he’s written on his profile to spark conversation.

Realize that what you wear will communicate certain things to your date.

If you go for the cleavage top, he might assume he can get lucky tonight.

So before you leave for your date, do your power pose in front of the mirror and give yourself a little wink. If you smile and play with your hair or lean in toward your date, you’re communicating interest.

Either way, no matter what your situation, my advice will be the same.

If you show up in gym clothes, it tells him you put zero effort into looking nice, and that might put him off.

Find a balance between looking polished and not looking like you tried too hard.

If you’ve been in a relationship with the same man for 30 years, you probably need some practice flirting and talking to men in general.

Even if you don’t feel a spark with a particular date, you can still practice those skills.

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Here are a few more pointers for what to wear on a first date: I know you think you’ll act as nervous as you feel, but trust me: it probably won’t even show. When you’re nervous, your mouth and body sometimes tell different stories.

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