Intj with intj dating
I believe the subject of the chat was D&D (Dungeons and Dragon roleplay) although we just had a fun chat which turned into messenger chats, which turned into long phone calls, then eventually visits (long distance), then he moved closer to the US/Canada border, until I finally sponsored him into Canada and now we live together.I say we never would have ended up in a relationship because he's very socially developed, comes from a completely different cultural background (he's hispanic and catholic and many of his friends are black which is an entire culture of its own down in the states).I'm decently attractive (and don't really have a problem finding a guy to sleep with, if I feel like it), but trying to be "sexy" or girly and coquettish has always felt like a ridiculous act. I mean, for a fling or a one night stand, maybe, but not for a LTR or a marriage.For my fellow INTJ women who have found lasting love, can you offer any advice? If you can't have a meaningful conversation with someone, being in a relationship with them is hell.Those topics are really vital to a lot of people's dating lives - it's like their litmus test for a potential "sit on the couch with me in my underwear" partner.But they don't have to be a part of your dating experience.I think it's a combo of too-high intelligence standards and feeling like the games and flirting that inevitably come with meeting someone new are a bit foolish.I'm the type of person who would love to fast-forward to the watching-TV-in-sweatpants-and-having-deep-conversations-on-the-couch phase, but it's so hard to get to that point without turning someone off in the process.
I might have thought he doesn't care enough about school and learning, or that his sense of humour is annoying.
I feel like I go out with guys and have a hard time with the BS flirty smalltalk of dating, and talking about "real" things makes me a girl-next-door friend rather than a romantic prospect.
Frankly, romance baffles me, and chivalry makes me uncomfortable.
If you're already out of the educational system, try and find something like it - look for potential mates in educationally-charged situations, like groups, clubs, and other associations who still make it their priority to learn as they get older and cut through the BS of life. I'm long since out of college and am well into my career (which I love), but it's a great idea to seek out intellectual types elsewhere.
I've pretty much stuck to online dating, which has yielded mediocre results so far.