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Rabbi Rietti suggested that you ask yourself guided questions before you start to date, such as: I wonder what I will learn about myself during this date? He emphasized the idea that you can’t change another person.We need to ask ourselves how we can become more of the qualities we are looking for in our future spouse.Rather, the main issue is that we cannot restrain ourselves from criticizing our wives or from responding to their criticism.
If the person had ten out of ten for everything and still wasn’t ready to become engaged, then he needs to identify what is missing.” “It’s not whom we marry that we should be afraid of; it’s who am I?” He taught that the purpose of dating is about becoming a better me.This man was coarser than her, and he was set on his daughter marrying the Chofetz Chaim who was only 17 at the time.The Chofetz Chaim agreed to marry her because he understood that it’s not whom you marry; it’s who you are, when entering marriage, that is important. He continued: As I am dating, I need to ask myself how I am improving in kindness, consideration, and understanding. He added that to show interest in another person, you find out what he or she likes the most, and you get interested in it even if it does not interest you.